Considering Swinging?

For the purposes of this article we are talking about couples who are considering entering the swingers lifestyle, we’ll cover single guys and girls in other postings but this can be couples that are married or partners of any age from young to mature.

Becoming a swinging couple can be a very exciting way to enhance your sex life and make new friends by meeting like-minded couples and other swingers, BUT it is something that you should only get into if you have both agreed you are 100% happy doing, it isn’t something you should enter into on a whim and here are some questions you should discuss before you even join a contact site:

  • Do you have a good sex life?
    If not then swinging wont necessarily make a bad sex life good it can actually add strain to your relationship! The majority of swinging couples are in very strong relationships and enjoy good sex when it is just the two of them, swinging should be seen as an extension of this for more fun.
  • What do you want to get out of your swinger experiences?
    Think carefully about this one and answer honestly to each other, after all one major factor in a couple being able to swing is trust and your first step is to admit your own reasons for wanting to try swinging be it because you are bi-curious (either one of you) or bisexual , you want to fulfil some sexual fantasies or maybe you have had an experience before. Any of these are fine as long as neither of you come up with “because I am bored of sex with you”!
  • Are you at all jealous?
    If you are then stop right here! There is no room for the green eyed monster in swinging, the combination is potentially fatal for a relationship if you are not able to imagine your partner/spouse with another man/woman!
  • What type of swinging do you want?
    By this we mean you should discuss what type of swingers you want to make contact with, do you want a threesome (MMF, MFF or MFF bisexual), soft swapping with another couple, full swinging, bukkake party or gangbang, etc…

Once you have discussed these topics (without sounding like we’ve set you homework!) we suggest that it is then a good idea to sign up putting your basic information in to create your profile and then have a good look around at the other members, see what things they put in their profiles and this will help you to create your personal ad properly which will increase your chances of getting genuine replies.

The next decision you should make, possibly before you create your full profile, is to jointly decide how you want to start and by that we mean if someone does reply to your ad and they fit the criteria you’ve said you are looking for, say a “local couple to you with a bi-female about the same ages as you for an evening fun”, it is often a good idea to get to know them a bit first, whether that’s in the online chat rooms, chatting via webcam, on the phone or even to meet up at a local pub before proceeding any further.

As long as you make it clear that you are new to swinging most couples will be happy to go along at your speed, and in any case many experienced couples will still want to meet publicly or chat online before agreeing to have any sexual contact. Every couple will have their own set of rules so by setting yours at the beginning you will both be as comfortable as possible from the outset.

Part of these agreed “rules” should be how far you BOTH want to take things, especially on your first experience! Do some research by reading sites like this and by looking through swingers profiles and get to know the swingers terminology – things like soft swapping, cuckold, gangbangs, BDSM – it’ll help you understand what type of experiences you want.

We don’t want to make it sound like swinging is going to be all about formal rules and regulations, it really isn’t and you should be able to relax and enjoy the whole experience from starting to put your profile online to actually meeting and playing with other swingers, but we want you to be aware of all the considerations so that you go into this new world of swinging with your eyes open and then you can enjoy it together!

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2 December 2008 · Posted in Articles  


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